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I am a young female associate. I recently joined a large firm. Shortly after I accepted the position, I was warned by two older female staff members about a male partner. They say he "preys" on the young female hires and has been involved in several office affairs. I am very concerned because the guy has begun asking for my assistance on several projects and is very friendly. Today he asked me out for a drink after work. My gut tells me that this is going to be a difficult situation, especially given the long working hours and extensive travel that this job demands. I am reluctant to work in close proximity with this guy, but I want to show my willingness and enthusiasm to tackle any assignment. How should I handle the situation?

This is a delicate situation. You want to please the boss, but do not want him hitting on you. Check out the firm’s stand on sexual harassment (not that I recommend you go that route); this is simply for your awareness. It sounds as if there may be one in the policy manual, but not followed in the practice! Check out whether your career is really in jeopardy and then tell him, you are interested in the work, but not in him. Practice what I call the “gracious refusal”, although he may need to be hit over the head. If so, use a velvet hammer and say, “It is my personal conviction to never become romantically or sexually involved with someone with whom I work. It is just too complicated. Let’s get this settled up front because I would really like to work with you, but I won’t be able to accept the work if you do not respect my boundaries.” And be careful if you go for drinks, do not have too many or you’re in for trouble. By Dr. Fiona Travis, psychologist, author of Should You Marry a Lawyer?				If the partner with the roving eye gets too friendly, start discussing your wonderful boyfriend. As a lawyer, you should be a good storyteller, so invent this great out-of-town guy you’ve been seeing. And go back to your sources. Does Romeo have a wife and kids? If so, that’s another whole avenue of conversation. If he still doesn’t get the hint, then do some research. You’re good at that, too. Then ask him if he heard the one about the law firm that paid $X million in a sexual harassment suit. By Amanda, JD, a California bar advisor

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