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My lawyer-husband has a big Internet problem: he has been sneaking "online affairs" when I’m not at home or after I go to sleep. He has even called and met some of these women. I’ve tried everything – removing the computer, changing passwords, even taking out the modem. But I can’t baby-sit him 24/7. I am about ready to give up. Do you have any suggestions?

Yes, I have some suggestions, but you may not like them. You say you have tried everything, but it sounds like you have only tried to control his behavior. You have already been baby sitting him by doing all of this crazy stuff. Have you wondered what his problem might be? Why is he doing this? The world of computers has introduced many people to electronic relationships. Most people who do this are quite insecure and the computer is “safer” in many ways. This does not change the fact that he is doing it, but instead of trying to stop him, you may want to talk to him. And yes, give up trying to control him and figure out whether you want to continue living your life “guarding” him.

By Dr. Fiona Travis, psychologist, author of Should You Marry a Lawyer?

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